That’s What Your Mum Said

I am lucky in that I have a boyfriend who is currently ‘keeping’ me. It allows me to study without the stress of putting the food on the table or paying the water bill. He claims that he will become a kept man and do his PHD when I graduate, but the joke is on him. I will get a lowly paid social justice job that fulfills me but only pays for half of the rent. HA! Sucker.

Anyway, my point is that my last pay from my once a month shift at an optometrist wasn’t required to make ends meet, so it instead went toward tickets to see Christopher Hitchens speak in Sydney this weekend. I like him. A lot. In a wrong way. Kind of. Sometimes I look at him and I think ‘middle aged paunch’. Other times I glance and I think ‘well hello sailor’. Usually when I don’t look at all and just read what he has written I think that latter. Even when he wrote that women aren’t funny, I liked his style. I love someone that can be a real dick with their tongue in cheek and cop the flack from humourless politically correct wankers. Dude, he visits war zones and rags on Mother Teresa! He has some steel balls right there.

I am hoping that he comes onto the stage with a bottle of scotch in one hand, a cigarette in the other, and it all just spirals into him singing show tunes in a mumbly Patsy-esque voice. That would be rad.

How can you not love him?

I had the best weekend. At a conference. With speakers. And seating plans. And conference food.

How does this happen you may ask?

I purchased tickets (expensive, gold-version tickets that allowed us to sit right at the front in the elite section) to the Global Atheist Conference in Melbourne.

This was a one stop shop for all of my intellectual crushes, and I added quite a few to the list by the end of the weekend. Peter Singer, P Z Myers and  Richard Dawkins were joined by A C Grayling (a new favourite), Catherine Deveny, Jane Caro, Phillip Adams, Taslima Nasrin (heartbreakingly inspiring), Sue-Anne Post (heartbreakingly hilarious), Dan Barker, Ian Robinson and the awesome comedians Jamie Kilstein, NonStampCollector, Julian Morrow and Craig Reucassel. Too. Much. Good.

Richard Dawkins looking bamboozled - around 300 people lined up with books to sign!

The most wonderful thing about this gathering was that I finally felt at home. I was finally around people who understand the way I think and what I believe in (truth, for all of those that are curious) and didn’t screw their noses up when I proclaimed that I don’t believe in the supernatural nor religion in all its guises.

All of the speakers had excellent points and most spoke clearly, concisely and confidently about their beliefs (or lack thereof) and their experiences of religion. Some of the greatest insights came from the speakers who had experienced religion first hand. Sue-Ann Post grew up in a Mormon household (and is now a lesbian comedian), Dan Barker was an evangelical preacher (fascinating) and Taslima Nasran has been banned from her home nation for speaking out against the oppression of women under the Islamic religion.

Poor photo of Peter Singer

Of course my favourite was Peter Singer. He talked about the ability of human beings to be ethical without religion and he was a joy. I raced up after his speech to get my book signed and was far too excited. I told him I liked his glasses. He looked at me like I am special.  I am mortified I said this to one of the centuries greatest minds, but I plan on stalking him out again and asking something more intelligent like “Dr Singer, who should win the latest season of ‘So you think you can dance”?

There has been a lot of controversy surrounding the conference and a lot of commentators poo-pooing the idea of atheists gathering together (apparently it is like herding cats). We have every right to come together and enjoy each others company. We have every right to cheer and shout and drink far too much and relish being alive. Heck, we paid for it (no government funding for us; a recent church gathering in Melbourne received between $4 and $5 million).

'The Ethics of What We Eat' by Peter Singer and Jim Mason

I’m not going to rant. I do truly believe, though, that religion has a lot of badness to answer for. I also believe that I should not be funding their tax breaks and perks with my hard-earned income. Honestly, I would rather fund our ridiculously ailing health system, or free, secular education for all, or even just better public transport.

I would recommend an atheist gathering to all, regardless of your beliefs or stance on freedom of religion. The people are welcoming and the food is great and the ideas are freely flowing and open. I couldn’t think of a better way to spend my precious time.

I always assumed my stomach was made of steel with regards to things I see, hear or smell. Until this week.

I managed to finish reading a novel called ‘Wetlands’ by Charlotte Roche. Her first publication, ‘Wetlands’ is the story of a young woman and her mental, family, physical and hygiene issues. The author does not hold back, which is normally something I thrive on;  shock me and I will love you. However I have discovered I do have a line and Charlotte Roche crossed it! I spent many pages attempting not to throw up (my imagination is vivid and I find the written word moves me far more than the moving image) and I was introduced to some wholly new concepts.

Charlotte Roche

Honestly, if you are like me and think that you can’t be shaken, read this book. Although I am disgusted, I am also really impressed and respectful of the author that fucked with my head! If you have a weak stomach, do not even attempt this. No way jose.

My lovely Nana Josie passed away back in 2004 however I have only recently received some of her belongings. My Pop had kept most of her things and as he passed away last year my family is selling their home. My Mum managed to grab a few things that she though I might like and she did a really good job of it. Not only did I get some lovely cake plates (I adore using second-hand kitchen wares, every time I cook I think of the people who passed their tools on and what they used to make for me with those exact pieces) but I was also on the receiving end of some very old knitting patterns.

I am not a wonderful knitter but I love the relaxation and also the joy of wearing/using something I have created. I usually always have a project on the go, which some would see as madness considering I am currently enduring an Australian summer that is offering me over 30 degrees Celsius every day with around 90% humidity. Well, I will have the last laugh when winter bears down!

Nana had many patterns all of which are booklets or torn out of magazines from the 1960′s (some of the accompanying articles are pure gold). Only one pattern was hand written so I decided to knit it first and I am now the proud owner of bedsocks! They are ugly and messy and I ran out of green wool so had to do the green/grey combination but they are darned comfortable and they make me think of Nan.

(Yes, I ran out of one type of green wool then used a different type for the top half of the green sock, what of it)?

I have also recently just finished the Palindrome scarf. Although the pattern is relatively simple it took a LONG time to knit; it was well worth it. I can’t wait for things to cool down here so I can show off my handy work

I think you should all share in the wisdom of my Nan’s insanely simple pattern, so here it is. Look at her beautiful writing, wonderful.

Josie’s Bedsocks

No. 7 needles (use long ones)! They made socks that fit my feet which are a US size 8-9. Increase cast on stitched for larger feet. Also, bear in mind that these do not look anything like socks until you sew them together at the end. Don’t freak out, they get there eventually!

Cast on 94 stitches

Work in garter stitch (all knitting) increasing once at the end of each row until you have 108 stitches.

Work in garter stitch without shaping until work measures 2 1/4 inches. Decrease once at the end of each row until back to 94 stitches.

Cast off 22 stitches at the beginning of the next two rows (comes down to 50 stitches).

Work in garter stitch for 2 inches. Cast off.

Fold work in half and sew together. Crochet if desired (Adele has no idea how to crochet, just putting that out there).

Thanks Nan!

This week the lovely Naomi Rose has kept my belly full and a smile on my face with these recipes:

Mexican Wedding Cakes = frackin yum

Coconut, Chickpea & Coriander Curry = genius.

Thank you Naomi, mine and the partners tummies very much appreciate you

Yesterday I attended the Sydney Big Day Out, and being there rammed two things home in a very strong manner:

1. Australia has a fracking harsh climate. We don’t do things in halves here, and the 43 degrees Celsius weather was testament to this fact.

2. Nothing makes me feel better than live music (well maybe one or two things, but that is not for the outside world to know)!

I went with the partner and my little sister and we met with random friends throughout the day. The event started with my sister having a panic/heat stress attack before we had even entered the gates, so she had to lay down for 10 minutes and drink all of our water supplies. Once we got in, we went to the big arena and I had a heat stress attack – I just could not cool down no matter how much water I drank and how much I fanned myself. The partner came up with the genius idea of heading to the water sprays which were at the entrance to the arena. Basically, I stood under them for 5 minutes and allowed my clothing to become soaked, which really helped a lot.

After two false starts, we actually got to see some bands! The stand out act was Muse. I have already seen them live twice (once at Big Day Out 3 or so years ago, and once at an indoor concert the night before said BDO) but they continue to blow my socks off with their precision and their epic sound. Matt Bellamy and his musical ability is as close as I will ever come to a religious experience – talk about sex on legs! If only he was a little taller We had the make the terrible decision between Muse and Peaches as they were on at the same time, but justified our choice by arguing that Peaches tours Australia regularly and she is cheaper to see at an individual show than Muse. I have seen her live before and she is spectacularly talented. I bought one of her shirts to show my solidarity and ongoing love for her crazy brand of music.

Other awesome acts were Girl Talk (so much fun), Kasabian, Groove Armada and Ladyhawke (for all you non-Aussie/Kiwis, check out our home-grown talent). Lily Allen was also in the mix, for curiosity reasons more than anything else. Her music is catchy but it isn’t something I would listen too at home for fun. She has a great voice live though, and she is super cute. We caught the end of Dizzee Rascal and Powderfinger which were both great. We also caught the start of Mars Volta which was amazing, and Midnight Juggernaughts which left a little to be desired. Overall though, the musical standard was awesome and we had a kick ass time!

At around 3pm a southerly change came through and brought pouring rain that cooled the dastardly weather down – it was delightful to say the least! We left around 11.30pm and got back home around 1.30am this morning, so I am a little vulnerable right now, but should be fine tomorrow. There weren’t too many incidents of dickheads asking me to kiss the flag or throwing beer cans at people of anything but Anglo-Saxon descent (a lot of Sydney BDO revelers have a reputation of being racist, bigoted asshats)  so overall I would give this years BDO a big thumbs up! Oh, and how on earth could I forget to mention Cheese On A Stick? This gourmet treat is possibly my most favourite food in existence. Cheese, on a stick, deep fried in batter. Fuck yes. I am salivating thinking about it.

To learn of my past Big Day Out experiences and feelings towards them, read this post. It has pictures of Cheese On A Stick!

Once again I am reminded how inept I am.

I wish I knew how to crochet. I have had a lot of people tell me how easy it is but I cannot seem to master it. No matter how many video tutorials I watch online I still end up with a garbled mess of wool and hooks with my fingers tied up in between. This blanket by Tamara at 1/4 of an inch is absolutely delightful and I am very very jealous of her talent.

I discovered Sarai when I was looking for a pattern for a winter beret and love her work at both Sweet Sassafras and Colette Patterns. This dress is her design and she documents a few different versions made by others on her blog. I wish I had a sewing machine/pretty fabric/the ability to sew.

As Coilhouse has pointed out, Japanese advertising is as mad as a cut snake. I particularly love the line “to stare into the mind of the ad man of the Far East is to stare into the face of God. We blink, for our feeble brains cannot process its wonder”. You know what I love even more though? The ad above. Thankyou Coilhouse for pointing out that I will never be clever or warped enough to create something this awesome. Go to Coilhouse and look at some of the other advertisements they link to. Frackin quirky.

Found at this awesome site