That’s What Your Mum Said

I always assumed my stomach was made of steel with regards to things I see, hear or smell. Until this week.

I managed to finish reading a novel called ‘Wetlands’ by Charlotte Roche. Her first publication, ‘Wetlands’ is the story of a young woman and her mental, family, physical and hygiene issues. The author does not hold back, which is normally something I thrive on;  shock me and I will love you. However I have discovered I do have a line and Charlotte Roche crossed it! I spent many pages attempting not to throw up (my imagination is vivid and I find the written word moves me far more than the moving image) and I was introduced to some wholly new concepts.

Charlotte Roche

Honestly, if you are like me and think that you can’t be shaken, read this book. Although I am disgusted, I am also really impressed and respectful of the author that fucked with my head! If you have a weak stomach, do not even attempt this. No way jose.

The second half of 2009 has seen my attendance at two funerals, the most recent being less than a week ago. They were difficult as these things are and I will miss my lost family members a lot.

These have led me to think on mortality and the inevitability of my own funeral. Without going into all of the other conundrums that this raised, the clearest question in my mind has been ‘who will attend my funeral’?

I have a very strong conviction that children are not a part of my future. There were so many children and grandchildren at these gatherings yet there will be none at mine.

Who will mourn me?

Do any of you think about these morbid things? Do you have any strong ideas about the central people at your funeral and who will truly miss your loss?

This comes courtesy of the ‘Q&A‘ mashup website and made me so very happy last night. Enjoy.

I have not eaten solid food in approximately 41 hours. I have not had anything to drink in approximately 15 hours. It is for a good cause which will hopefully clear a lot of things up that I am worried about and ease my mind, but frack this is torture.

I cannot think straight and I can barely stand. I feel so ridiculously weak. Food keeps me not only physically but also mentally stable. Brain do not compute.

Dinner tonight will be magnificent.

Terrifying.