That’s What Your Mum Said

…you probably won’t like this article!

Burkas and Birkins

I really loved this article

You could say that I am a fair way behind when it comes to pop culture and cinematic releases. I am only just watching ‘Weeds’ (fecking brilliant) and I rarely know the songs that my teenage nieces sing to me.

However last week I made a very small effort to catch up a little and since the partner was at work it seemed apt to watch a girly film.

That was the first mistake.

I decided on ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ based on a handful of factors including my giant crush on Scarlett Johansson, my respect for Drew Barrymore and Jennifer Connelly and the opportunity to explore why I just don’t really like Jennifer Aniston.

That was my second mistake.

There was so much about this film to hate but the punch in the face was the insanely weak female characters. These ladies are good, strong, capable actors yet they chose to play ridiculous women who sit about wondering why the men in their lives don’t pay them attention/call them/marry them/respect them. In particular, the character Gigi as played by Ginnifer Goodwin was banal. She was clearly an intelligent and attractive young lass who had a good career and a cute little apartment, but she spent the two hours (too fecking long) of the film whining like a little bitch that no man loved her. Perhaps it was because she was a stalky McStalk-face and thought that every man who gave her a sideways glance wanted to form a steady and solid relationship.

Also, how dare a director manage to make Scarlett look plain! She is sex on a stick yet the idiot that dressed her in this film made her wear really unflattering clothing that was dowdy and boring. Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for Woody Allen and his vision for Scarlett. Mmmmmmmmm.

GOSH! How did this film become popular? I really felt like I had wasted a large portion of my life that could have been spent feeding orphans or gardening. Being the self-flagellating idiot I am, I watched the entire thing just to see how everything was resolved. Of course, all of the idiotic, weak women found idiotic mysoginistic men. The only two characters who didn’t end up happy were the cheaters. Of course. Because the film wasn’t fracking obvious enough.

Give me Starbuck any day

Lucky me had a week of annual leave accrued and spent the last week not going to work (back this week – WAAAAAAH). As the partner didn’t have the same pleasure I spent the time doing girly things and enjoying some awesome quiet time. I had lovely vegetarian breakfasts and did some shopping and also went for a couple of swims at my nearby beach (the weather here this week has been absolutely magnificent). I also spent a fair amount of time catching up on movies that I haven’t yet had the opportunity to view.

Here is a bit of a list with some brief comments:

• Rachel Getting Married - seriously loved this film. Although Anne Hathaway was great, I think that Rosemarie DeWitt was the standout. I must admit that I have a fairly giant girl-crush on her developed through ‘Mad Men’ and ‘United States of Tara’ however I like to think I can judge a darned good performance. The filming was delightfully bohemian and the music was delicious. The highlight was Tunde Adebimpe (from TV on the Radio) singing ‘Unknown Legend’ by Neil Young. I cried like a little bitch. I always wanted to elope, but I now want the exact wedding as portrayed in the film – especially with the Brazilian Dancers!

• Bottle Shock - This film was a lot of fun. Set in the 1970′s, the vibe was young, fun, bright and carefree. It had a lot of things I love – wine, sunny days, Alan Rickman, vineyards, and did I mention wine? I would recommend it for a simple weekend viewing when you don’t want to think too much and just want to look at pretty people and scenery. And Alan Rickman. I would recommend looking at Alan Rickman.

• Wendy and Lucy - Honestly, I probably wouldn’t recommend this film. It started out quite cute and a little bit quaint – Michelle Williams is very sweet and the dog even sweeter. But it went nowhere. I understand that it was meant to be a study of the relationship between lost human and loyal animal but it didn’t cut it.

• My Sister’s Keeper - Mmmmmmmm. Not quite sure how I felt about this film. I went with my Mum and picked it because I thought she might like it (there were many other films I would have rather spent my dollars on). It was difficult to watch in many many ways. Terminal illness is pretty fucking horrid; terminal illness in a teenage girl who has not had the experiences I would want for anyone I love is beyond horrid. It was an effective exploration of the effects of sickness on not only the inflicted person but the people around them. I cried a fair bit and came out feeling pretty vulnerable; I wouldn’t say it was a nice experience however it sure makes one realise how lucky they are to be alive and relatively healthy.

• Inglorious Basterds - EPIC! Quentin Tarantino is a genius and I will not be argued with on this fact. He looks at film in such a different manner to other directors and his passion is obvious. His casting is always inspired and so very correct for his defined and important characters. My favourite in this film was a toss up between Colonel Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz) and Sgt. Donny ‘The Bear Jew’ Donowitz (Eli Roth). Honestly though, everyone did a kick-ass job of making this yet another amazing Tarantino flick. Quentin is just so darned good that he kinda makes me want to hump his face.