That’s What Your Mum Said

My lovely Nana Josie passed away back in 2004 however I have only recently received some of her belongings. My Pop had kept most of her things and as he passed away last year my family is selling their home. My Mum managed to grab a few things that she though I might like and she did a really good job of it. Not only did I get some lovely cake plates (I adore using second-hand kitchen wares, every time I cook I think of the people who passed their tools on and what they used to make for me with those exact pieces) but I was also on the receiving end of some very old knitting patterns.

I am not a wonderful knitter but I love the relaxation and also the joy of wearing/using something I have created. I usually always have a project on the go, which some would see as madness considering I am currently enduring an Australian summer that is offering me over 30 degrees Celsius every day with around 90% humidity. Well, I will have the last laugh when winter bears down!

Nana had many patterns all of which are booklets or torn out of magazines from the 1960′s (some of the accompanying articles are pure gold). Only one pattern was hand written so I decided to knit it first and I am now the proud owner of bedsocks! They are ugly and messy and I ran out of green wool so had to do the green/grey combination but they are darned comfortable and they make me think of Nan.

(Yes, I ran out of one type of green wool then used a different type for the top half of the green sock, what of it)?

I have also recently just finished the Palindrome scarf. Although the pattern is relatively simple it took a LONG time to knit; it was well worth it. I can’t wait for things to cool down here so I can show off my handy work

I think you should all share in the wisdom of my Nan’s insanely simple pattern, so here it is. Look at her beautiful writing, wonderful.

Josie’s Bedsocks

No. 7 needles (use long ones)! They made socks that fit my feet which are a US size 8-9. Increase cast on stitched for larger feet. Also, bear in mind that these do not look anything like socks until you sew them together at the end. Don’t freak out, they get there eventually!

Cast on 94 stitches

Work in garter stitch (all knitting) increasing once at the end of each row until you have 108 stitches.

Work in garter stitch without shaping until work measures 2 1/4 inches. Decrease once at the end of each row until back to 94 stitches.

Cast off 22 stitches at the beginning of the next two rows (comes down to 50 stitches).

Work in garter stitch for 2 inches. Cast off.

Fold work in half and sew together. Crochet if desired (Adele has no idea how to crochet, just putting that out there).

Thanks Nan!

As some of you may have noticed, I have been a craptacular blogger over the past two weeks. Lazy lazy lazy. I have been reading all of your wonderful posts though, so please forgive me my absence and lets be friends, ok?

Reasons for my absence (all pretty shitty but I have to try):

• I got accepted into a Graduate Law degree at university and have spent a lot of time ordering textbooks, printing papers, getting student cards, organising timetables and being ridiculously excited (give me a week into the study and I will be over the childish glee)
• I have been doing all of the stuff I won’t have time to do when I get back into the study, such as going to the dentist (need wisdom teeth removal, will worry about that at a later date), getting more tests done on my crazy digestive system, cleaning the house like a maniac, reading fiction books and watching a lot of ‘Gilmore Girls’ and ‘Ellen’ (and even a little bit of ‘Oprah’, ‘Dr Phil’ and ‘The Bold and the Beautiful’)
• I have been attempting to catch up with friends and family before I go MIA in the general vicinity of a human-sized stack of law texts
• I have been staring at the wall and contemplating what to eat next

There you have it, a comprehensive list of extremely good reasons why I have been a poor and lax internet buddy.

The delectable Liz tagged me to do this meme, and as it is my first I am would be honoured! To be honest, I have been racking my brain and I have had trouble; I am not a very interesting person. Ha, these should be fascinating…

one. I only have two true talents.

I can make my tongue into a three-leaf clover, and I can bend my thumb at a 90 degree angle behind my hand. It freaks people out, and for that I am thankful.

two. I get inappropriate crushes quite often.

My first ever was Anthony Hopkins. I saw him in ‘Silence of the Lambs’ and that was it – wrong love. Peter Singer is the most recent, being all smart and the like. I am going to a conference in March that he is speaking at, and needless to say I will be wearing a new dress, heels and some red lippy.

three. Besides the partner, my one true love is books.

I have been obsessed ever since I could pick them up. Testament to this fact is the reading awards I received every year from kindergarten onward (I dug them out of my special box only a week ago) and also the many, many books we have in our home. I plan on making a library the first room I design when we purchase our own space on this earth.

four. I have four siblings.

This is quite an old photograph, but it shows me (fourth out of five), my oldest sister, my second oldest sister, the third sibling my brother, and the youngest sibling my sister. Don’t be fooled by the cross; we aren’t church-going folk, but it was a very important event that happened to be held in a church. For a large family with large gaps (ages 41, 39, 36, 26 & 24) we are insanely close. I know I could count on any of them at any time, and this is some wonderful knowledge. They are champs.

five. I attended a new-age christian church when I was a teenager and smitten with a young man who was a staunch believer.

I don’t want to go into this too much except that to say I was naive and it was  a very educational experience. To be honest, I have never experienced hypocrisy and judgment in such high doses. It sent me on the beginning of the trip to atheism and taught me to question everyone and everything they say.

six. I don’t want children and I don’t envisage this changing. Ever.

I imagine this one is a little controversial, but hey, that is what the internet is for, isn’t it? Let me explain myself before you get upset and tell me it is my duty as a woman to have a child, or that I would be a really good mother so I have to have them (heard it all before noobs). I am fully aware of the fact that parenting is THE hardest job in the world, and frankly, I don’t want it. I have been proclaiming ever since I was aware of my female bits and their uses (around 11 or 12) that I don’t want children, and this has never wavered. It has actually led to the ending of some relationships due to the partner attempting to convince me that I was totally wrong, or being unable to accept my choice. The current (and hopefully forever-long) partner feels the same as me which is refreshing and wonderful. We are very open to whatever the future may hold, and I have also made it clear to everyone involved that if my little sister couldn’t conceive I would carry for her, but other than that I am just not that way inclined. Don’t hate me.

seven. I am a dyed-in-the-wool atheist.

I love this world, it is fracking awesome and fascinating and mysterious and fantabulous. I just don’t believe in a guy in the sky; I believe in science and the universe. Humans are an arrogant and ignorant race and if only we could open up our minds to the fact that we are small and inconsequential. We don’t need a deity looking over us to have meaning in our lives. Religion has a tendency to be very, very dangerous and damaging despite the ideals of being kind to thy neighbour and such. I would rather live by Bill and Tedism; …”Be excellent to each other… party on dudes”. Simple but effective.

I would like to tag Sarah Hannah, Elizabeth, Em, Miss Katie, Amalie, Chickie Little and Kez to partake in the randomness.

Around these parts (my townhouse) we celebrate Gravmas. December 25th was the day that Isaac Newton was born (in the old style dating system) and as you are probably aware, he was led to discover gravity by watching an apple fall from a tree.

I celebrate something that is real to me and that I can see and understand. I have full respect for other beliefs, but being a staunch Atheist, I will celebrate the next few days with nothing in mind but my awesome family, far too much fantabulous food, my lovely partner, my new red polka-dot dress, and an apple atop my Gravmas tree! Oh, and gravity (probably when I fall over after a few too many ciders).

I hope that you all have a safe and amazingly fun-filled holiday season. Get too drunk, eat too much and pass out in a heap, I say (just make sure that if you are in the North it is a warm place; in the South, make sure you are near to an air-conditioner)!

To blow the cuteness factor of this through the roof, here is my nephew at his first Gravmas last year.

The second half of 2009 has seen my attendance at two funerals, the most recent being less than a week ago. They were difficult as these things are and I will miss my lost family members a lot.

These have led me to think on mortality and the inevitability of my own funeral. Without going into all of the other conundrums that this raised, the clearest question in my mind has been ‘who will attend my funeral’?

I have a very strong conviction that children are not a part of my future. There were so many children and grandchildren at these gatherings yet there will be none at mine.

Who will mourn me?

Do any of you think about these morbid things? Do you have any strong ideas about the central people at your funeral and who will truly miss your loss?

The last post was slightly ranty, so here is something fluffy.

Last week I had two days off of work sick. My current stomach issues leave me drained and slightly sullen so I couldn’t face the current retail work and instead took some bed rest and walked a lot. This is the harbour near my house. It was lovely and serene and grounding.

Two of my sisters and my brother in law stayed over on the weekend. My oldest sister and her husband had a wedding vow-renewal to go to at a local beach so we dropped them off and they caught a taxi home later that night. My sister was deeeerrrrruuuunk. She had a few too many champagnes and provided us with many a laugh. She discovered I had made banoffee pie and nearly wet her pants with excitement. Here she is harassing the partner just before she fell off the couch and got stuck between the coffee table and the seat. Gold.

I spent tonight making some scones. They are quite ugly and a bit too big and a tad too floury. I say fuck it, I’m eating them anyway! Ooooooh yeeaaah, floury scones.

You know what makes them better though? Damn good microwave strawberry jam I made a few weeks ago. I need to make some more now, as you can see.

Happy days.

I have an incurable case of foot in mouth disease that often causes awkward, knuckle-biting moments in my life and the lives of those around me.

Whilst camping on the weekend with my entire family (four siblings, four nieces and nephews, parents, partners, aunt, cousins, cousins’ children) and many friends, I made a total dick of myself. A lot of these friends are what I would lovingly term bogans. They are insanely lovely and would do anything for you, but they do enjoy a bourbon whilst singing along to ‘Live’ and wearing socks and thongs. One of my older sisters’ friends is called Ferret (I can only assume due to his small, lithe stature) and he is a hell of a lot of fun. Around the campfire on the final night he came over to get some damper with butter and golden syrup (hells yeah) and lifted his hand to waggle his little finger. To me, after a few glasses of champagne at the afternoon wedding and a few more goons later, it looked as though he had magically bent his little finger all the way down and waggled his knuckle. It was amazing! I had never seen anyone do it before! I got very excited and yelled “whooooooaaaaaaa, do it again Ferret, show me again”! I then hopped up and went over to him whilst looking amazed and excited. I was really confused as to why the partner and my oldest sister were looking embarrassed and saying “oh, Adele, no”. When I got to Ferret, I touched his knuckle to try and figure out how he had bent it over so crazily.

I discovered he wasn’t magic.

I discovered that he has no little finger.

I touched his stump.

Face palm city.

Here are some of the less awkward moments of the weekend. Except for the crocs. They are damned awkward.

There is a good chance I will be a bit too busy to do this tomorrow, so my Dad is getting an early shout out for Father’s Day. Sure Sir Bobby, your wife has an entire blog devoted to her. But don’t be jealous. It is devoted to her insanity and my eventual decline toward a similar fate.

Dad & Moi

Thanks for being the best man I have ever encountered and undoubtedly ever will.